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Does It Matter Who initiates Divorce?

Separation and Divorce are never an easy process  to go through. The emotional shock, stress and pain one has to endure are life changing

A question often asked by couples going through divorce is whether it matters who initiates the divorce and files the divorce complaint first. While both plaintiff and defendant will be divorced legally no matter who initiates the divorce, it does matter who files the Divorce Complaint first.

When you weigh the cons and pros, the defendant  usually has more disadvantages for many reasons. In addition to the psychological edge, the plaintiff,  who first files the divorce petition, is typically  the one who is in control the speed of the proceedings.

A Parent Rights
"Protecting the Rights of the Child"

In child custody cases, you are always confronted with the slogan "In the best interest of the child"... a  slogan that the Courts and Judges everywhere in the U.S. run with when making decisions, court orders,  judgment divorce, etc...

This slogan while very noble, is extremely flawed!... the Family Court is supposedly a Court of Equity and Justice.  When you have a Father, a Mother and children, the rights of ALL must be protected and preserved.

Matrimonial law neglects the right of the non-custodial parent, which is often the father!...

Family Law diligently protects the Right of the Child which automatically guarantees the Mother's Rights but completely dismisses the Father's Rights.

Often a mother engages in parental alienation by keep the child away from his or her father for a period of time with no accountability.

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 INSIGHTFUL DIVORCE ARTICLES

Welcome

Top Divorce Links  is a FREE site designed to offer Divorce education, insight and words of caution against the many pitfalls of Divorce Courts and the flawed Justice System.

Often the best Divorces are the amicable divorces.  Whatever you can agree to between yourselves is often much better than any settlement you reach after you have spent up to a $100,000and more in Divorce Attorney fees, child custody fees, appraisal fees, etc...

Amicable divorces also recognize the human element and allows both divorcees to understand that they will be starting a new life apart... and that, for the sake of children, their cooperation becomes critical.

Child Custody issues?

Child Custody, when a divorcing couple has children, is the single most contested and expensive issue in a divorce

Unless there are special circumstances, for example, domestic abuse or child abuse, The father and the mother both have full equal legal rights to have custody of his or her children.  The sad reality, is that once a couple goes through a separation, the first thing one of the spouses - typically the mother - takes the children away from the other spouse.  Knowingly or unknowingly, he or she engages in parental alienation and prevent the children from even seeing the other spouse using them as pawns in the divorce process.

This is wrong.  Children are very sensitive and no matter how angry a spouse is, he or she should always give the children access to the other spouse following a parenting agreement or a parenting plan from the beginning.

So, when a couples separates, they have the wrong impression that child custody is as simple as filing a motion in front of the Divorce Judge and getting a ruling on shared custody.

In reality, this is not true.  The spouses fueled by the child custody lawyers make the child custody battle unnecessarily complicated, difficult, emotional and stressful. A lot of money is spent on up to three Child Custody evaluations, and, regretfully, a lot of family secrets get exposed in the process to the public.

Although there are some very concerned ethical child custody attorneys, there are many that find this child custody conflict a goldmine to charge the divorcees exorbitant fees in case review, motion preparation, trial preparation, interrogatories, depositions, court appearances that the child custody and divorce costs can run some couples anything from $20,000 to more that $60,000 often money that is taken away from their lives and their children future.

CHILD CUSTODY INSIGHT

Non-Accountability

While child Support payments are paid to the custodial parent to "support" the child, they are often used to support the lifestyle of the custodial parent..

Sadly, Family Laws often require no accountability on how the money is spent or saved for the child.

The proposal to make the custodial parent accountable to the non-custodial parent  as to how child support payments are being spent on the child is still not considered a priority.

Deceit and Child Support Payments

When a child support judgment is entered against the non-custodial parent, it is often up to  a quarter century sentence during which the non-residential parent MUST pay the Residential parent weekly child support.

The dark side of Child Support Enforcement lies when some women employ deceitful tactics to get pregnant by a man.

Deceit tactics range from the mild to the outrageous with one outcome; one woman tricking a man and then collecting child support from him for many years to support her lifestyle not her children.

The proposal to penalize a woman that employs deceit is not being looked into.

Overnight Stays and Child Support

In Child Custody cases, non-custodial parents are rarely informed that the number of overnights the children stay with them affect their child support payments.

Accordingly, in disputed child custody cases, the custodial parent almost never agrees to additional overnight stays in order to maximize the child support payments.

Divorce Reality

The reality of Divorce is such that it is often a Lose-Lose situation.  Typically the only winners are the attorneys.  The sad reality is that many divorce lawyers are blood suckers.   The prey on the separating and divorcing couple in their most emotional moments.

 Matrimonial lawyers more often than not pretend to be your friends against "the Enemy", your spouse; when in reality, they add fuel to the fire and fattening their bills to you.